Breakfast at Tiffany's
| you say we've got nothing in common.. no common grounds to start from.. and we're falling apart.. How important are common grounds? are we better off with people that are so similar to us in temperament and character, or do opposites really attract in this case? How about culture? different cultures clash all the time, but do they ruin relationships or nurture them? do you prefer going out with someone of the same or different culture, why? how about spending the rest of your life and starting your little breed of culture-mix?? and i said "what about Breakfast at Tiffany's" she said "i think i remember the film.. and as i recall i think we both kinda liked it" and i said "well that's one thing we've got".. |
posted by Laila K at 2/20/2006 03:20:00 AM
Comments on "Breakfast at Tiffany's"
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Delirious said ... (3:56 AM) :
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Laila K said ... (4:19 PM) :
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Xavier Grant said ... (5:03 PM) :
post a commentWelcome Laila among us! :)
Bienvenue Laila!
p.s. In my opinion, I believe much of what you are asking has to do with maturity.
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thanks guys. but you didnt answer my question! i went out for 2 years with a german guy and it was great (with ups and downs) until it was time to make serious decisions, there were a lot of basic cultural differences and it could not have worked out. but i think it might have been different if he was greek or italian or spanish because our cultures are much more similar. but in a way for a long term relationship i think i would prefer same culture, from my experience at least.
I have been in this situation soooo many times, even with someone from the same culture (religious difference). I guess there is no easy answer Laila. A good friend of mine says that with understanding and communication, anything is possible, and that two people can achieve common ground. But sometimes I have to disagree with him. Thus, I haven't been able to answer this myself. *sigh*
Laila,
I have to live with this question everyday...and it's comforting to know that there are people out there who also had to face this dilemma...be it a Vietnamese or Indian girl
There are some people out there who are very elitist when it comes to there culture..
On one hand, it is good to marry someone with a common ground who understands quirky things about your culture (i.e. abu abed jokes or the kissing on the cheeks)..it establishes a common linkage that is harder to form with a person from another culture...
BUT I am a strong believer that love overcomes all obstacles, including culutural differences, financial..whatever it may be..(yes, a romantic at heart:))
THEN there is another MAJOR factor: the family!!!
If I ever decide to wed a guy that is not in my culture, I would sever all ties with my family...so the question (at least for me) is: Would he be worth it???
HI Girls,
Very nice and important especially that those days there are more and more mixed couples.As for me, i 've had such a dilemna twice; the first there was personal and religious problems. He was christian and practicant and i was born muslim. And i was afraid of my parents.
But all is different in the second case, we are very close personalities and conceptions about this world. He doesn't believe in religions and do live in a nearby country. e have found our selves in each other. SO i don't care, this is my guy and i want to spend the rest of my life with him wherever we decide to.
I believe this problem cannot be tackled easily in a Lebanese society as there are many obstacles standing in the way, esp. when it comes to religious beliefs. However, this is not due to our political system or anything, it is related to the ever-predominant presence of the "sacred" familial pattern in our society. This goes without mentioning that some people have come to venere their parents.
On the other hand, two adult and mature people can reach that level of homogeneity and understanding and bridge the gaps between them, once they get rid of their parents' grip on them.
Once that major obstacle demolished, there is nothing much that stands in the way, because difference can be a major source of richness especially if it is a cultural one.
One can live his whole life with his own perception about God and not share it with anyone, but a rich cultural background opens the door towards more chances to reach harmony inside a couple.
I'm married to an American and I couldn't be happier. I love my family and my friends from Lebanon but I suffocate when I only hang out with Lebanese. I like intercultural relationships because they encourage you to make your own rules rather than blindly follow what is customary in your country.
I do miss Lebanon a lot and sometimes, when we have little fights, I do miss being surrounded by people who "think like me"; but I like the challenge too much.
I think the reason this works so well for me is that:
A- I am quite acultural and feel more like a "citizen of the world" than anything else.
B- He comes from a very open and well-traveled family so he is not very different from me.
What matters more, I guess, is less the passport differences but rather the family culture: if your significant other was raised in a similar way you were, then you have some common ground, regardless of where he is from.
Oh, we also have different religions but neither of us is religious so that's cool.
zanzounito, i agree with you..
but for the ability to overcome the differences i guess it requires maturiy, wisdom and acceptance of the other.
Still, i prefer to have a multi-cultural family.
Multicultures are beautiful, and healthy, and even natural. No culture is perfect and all of them have beauty and wisdom. The encounter of cultures is a way to enlightment because it makes possible to see yourself.
I think to cross cultures is a natural way to heal them.
I'm argentinian. My great grandparents were from at least 6 different cultures... And I like what we are, even with the problems of self definition we could carry.
To be extremely defined may make things easier... but almost always close nice options to do it.
Love is the answer, I think. And I'm really not naive...